Avoidance; a How-To guide for beginners

Now I know we’ve all likely been confronted with feelings or facts we’d rather not acknowledge, so I’ve put together this post for the uninitiated (or anyone new to avoiding the uncertain and uncomfortable).

Keep your hands busy, find a craft or a chore or an errand that NEEDS doing right now. By focusing on these urgent matters those feelings, that reality of the situation, isn’t in the forefront.

Personally I (don’t) enjoy making lists of things, that way there’s a physical reminder of the looming tasks I’ve yet to accomplish. Having this physical reminder keeps me focused on The specific tasks I can avoid, as opposed to the nebulous and/or undefined feelings I’m really trying to avoid.

Below is a typical list of tasks I could perform in lieu of actual emotional work (aka dealing with feelings )

  • Gotta insulate those windows, better run to Home Depot and get all the supplies
  • Your bedroom is a mess, better get on it…actually no, that’s gonna remind you of your reality. Moving on…
  • Do laundry, heck the machine does most of the work. Wash everything, blankets, sheets, coats, throw it all in
  • Start a project, maybe even finish that embroidery or paint by number that’s been cluttering your life.
  • Search Pinterest for ideas for projects you wanna try but probably never will

Whatever you do, DO NOT sit with your feelings, talk about them, or write them down.

  • Doing so will result in FEELINGS.
  • Feelings you may not understand, and which may be uncomfortable or downright painful. These may include:
    • Anxiety stemming from the lack of stability and uncertainty in the future
    • Sadness
    • Worthlessness or Despair from the idea that your parents were the only two humans fully invested in your reality, and now that they’re dead you’re alone
    • Loneliness in knowing that previous feeling isn’t something that other people understand

However, writing them out as a note on your phone while chain smoking on the back porch may be beneficial. Posting it to a quasi-anonymous blog where it’s likely never to be seen by anyone you know could also be considered “productive”.

Congratulations, you’ve passively acknowledged your feelings!

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